As we were preparing to cross the bridge over the Columbia River on our way to my daughter Courteny’s winery in Washington State, we had motioned for an older gentleman to merge in front of us in the line waiting to pay the toll. He smiled and waved. When we got to the toll booth the attendant told us that he had paid our 75 cent toll for us. He was just pulling away as we were approaching. And, we imagine, he was looking into his rear view mirror to see our smiles and waves of appreciation and then BAM! his car hit the median curb, threw off his hub cab and flattened his tire! All because he was looking at us in the rear view mirror. He was already on the bridge at that point and – because it is a very narrow bridge – he kept driving on the rim to the other side because he knew if he stopped it would tie up traffic for hours. We jumped out, retrieved his hub cap and followed him over to the other side.
His car was pulled over on the shoulder. It was an older car and in pretty sad shape. I stopped and got out. “Are you all right?” I asked. “I am fine” he said in a very slow speech. It occurred to me he was deaf as well. “You did a beautiful thing back there, paying our toll for us. We are heartbroken that you have a flat tire for your trouble.” Thinking to myself, no good deed goes unpunished. “Can we help you change it? Do you have someone we can call?” He kept insisting he was all right, that someone was coming. Talk about life going out of control. We drove away. We had gone some miles down the road and Frances turned and said “its not right”. I said, “no its not” and although we were five miles down the road we swung back around. As we approached, someone else had come, family it seemed, and they were helping with the tire. I pulled out all the money I had in my wallet, $60 and gave it to Frances. She jumped out and handed it to him. “Thank you for helping us” she said, “let us help you, this is for a new tire”. He put up his hands “no, no” he said, “I can’t”. “Yes you can” said Frances “you can pay it forward someday” and she stuffed the money in jacket pocket and jumped back in the car. He ran up to us both smiling and shaking his head, “no I can’t” but Frances had closed the door and we smiled and waved and drove away. And as I watched in my rear view mirror I could see he was saying “God Bless You!”
It is when life is most out of control that I believe we must act upon what matters most. Sometimes it as simple as taking time to pray or meditate or walk; finding that still point within matters a great deal to me. So does affirming our place in the human family. Sure there are mean people who will take advantage of us, but more likely, the small acts of compassion we show, help us take control of that part of our lives that matters most, our sense of caring and self-worth.
Enjoy the summer's ride.
With Grace and Grit, John
