While I was serving as the Chair of the Human Relations Commission in Frederick, MD we heard from one woman, an African American who had moved into a very white neighborhood. She had just lost her husband and son in a traffic accident, and, as a single Mom, she was doing her best to raise her other son. Her new home was to be a place of hope and renewal. It turned out to be a living hell. Her next door neighbor, a bigoted and angry man started calling her the ‘n’ word. When she ignored him, he upped the ante. He started calling the police and telling them she was trespassing on his land. She put up a fence. He installed video cameras over the top of the fence. She put up tarps, he built a watchtower. Her life was so out of control. Her neighbors became her saving grace. They took turns watching her house while she was at work. They walked her son to the bus stop. When finally, this hate filled man blasted this poor woman with a high pressure hose, she went to the police to file charges. They had been expecting her. In fact, because of her neighbors they already had a task force assigned to stop this madman. But as I found out, stopping hate is not so easy. He had a good lawyer. But because of her neighbors, and a new hate crime bill that had just passed the Maryland State legislature, he was convicted, forced to move and she had her life back.
I commend to you a sense of neighborliness when life is out of control. We had our first break in in our neighborhood since we moved here five years ago. Someone broke into our neighbor’s home across the street while she was away at Fourth of July festivities. She might have scared them off because she heard noises coming into her home and nothing was taken. She phoned everyone in the neighborhood to let them know this had happened. Yes, she was still shaken, her life out of control, but she wanted her neighbors to be aware since the police had told them there were other break-ins nearby. Our neighbors were sympathetic, my wife Frances brought her a big bouquet of sunflowers. Our neighbor placed them in her front window for all to see. A sign of compassion in her life which for a while seemed so out of control. This might just be the summer to learn your neighbor’s names. Think of it as a spiritual practice.
The feminist author Annis Zinn once wrote: “We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.” As we face the trouble of our lives, when life is most out of control, take a deep breath, look around, so what you can do, ask for help and help others. Julian of Norwich put it best, “all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well.” Enjoy your summer and get to know your neighbors.
With Grace and Grit, John
