Seven years turns into fourteen and so when God told Jacob
it was time to return home, he was more than ready. His father was long dead
and Jacob longed to return to his homeland, to his own promised land. Jacob
left with his wives, servants and children and headed back to the Promised Land,
quite anxious about how he would be received by his older brother after
cheating him so many years ago. They
family arrived at the bank of a river and Jacob sent the party across not
entirely sure he could yet come out to face his brother. Exhausted from the journey he put his head
down and prepared to sleep. As he slept,
an angel came upon him and began to wrestle with the wily Jacob. They were evenly matched and as dawn came
upon them, Jacob asked the strangers name, to which no reply was given, instead
Jacob was wounded in the thigh bone, an ancient symbol of intimacy. Jacob held the stranger and demanded that
before he let him go he bless Jacob and
the angel said, “your name has been Jacob (which means to grasp) but from now
on your name will be ‘Israel’, for you have striven with God and prevailed” .
Jacob was a changed man.
Until then he had been a passive player in the drama of his destiny, the
mama’s boy, the trickster, worried about his older brother, ignored by his
father, tricked by his father-in-law, trapped in a darkness of soul in which
his life held little purpose. (See
Naomi Rosenblat’s Wrestling with Angels; Doubleday,
1995 for an excellent discussion of this motif)
Yet, somehow, through his own self – reliance he was able to
come out of his old hidden self and accept his wounds (symbolized by his thigh
injury) and transcend to the higher place of his true and better nature.
Just where was Jacob’s promised land? Was it in the land he
was migrating to? The land he once called home? Or was it to reconcile with his
brother, Esau from whom he had stolen his father’s inheritance? In a very outward
and literal sense, Jacob was returning to his home land, an actual place that
felt had been promised to him by God. But if we look further into the story, we
can see that he was also traveling to the promised land of reconciliation and
brotherly love that he longed for with his brother. But neither of those “promised
lands” were possible until Jacob completed his most important and inward
journey and that was the promised land of his own integrity.
Wrestling with the angels is a powerful metaphor in mythology.
It refers not so much to a celestial force or even something outside of who we
are, but a wrestling with our inner doubts, our faults and even our guilt. By
prevailing through the night, Jacob was given a new name, and with that name a
renewed identity to become the good man he was promised by God to become; no
longer the trickster and liar, but instead a human being cognizant of his
faults and willing to atone for them by returning to his brother and asking for
his forgiveness. The wound he suffered from the wrestling with the angel was
not so much a physical one as it was spiritual and emotional. The physical
dislocation of his hip was just a reminder of the spiritual dislocation of his
conceit in favor of a life with the promise of integrity.
Where is the promised land? Beloveds, the promise land
starts in us, right in here, right with our own doubts, and our own judgements,
our own fears and our own prejudices. Every great world leaders has wrestled
with the angels; Mother Theresa, Muhammed and his encounter with Gabriel, the
Buddha and the temptation of Mira the God of death, Jesus and the devil
promising him worldly power and eternal life. Each prophet, just like each of
us has to wrestle for our better selves. That is the true and most lasting
promised land.
Before I entered the ministry I thought seriously about
become a lawyer. A prosecuting attorney at that. I saw myself putting bad
people away. I was angry and afraid of the world. I went so far as to begin the
application process. I wrestled with this decision for weeks on end, until
finally, with a little help from my beloved, I saw that temptation for what is
was; a place to put my fear of being poor and my fear of others into a destructive
role. I am not saying that being a prosecuting attorney is wrong. Just that it
was wrong for me. I was going into it for the wrong reasons. It was a long a
slow journey back to my true promised land, my decision to enter the ministry and
I have been grateful ever since.
We all have struggles we must overcome in order to enter the
promised land of a better life. Throughout this month I will be exploring how
we can overcome those struggles and become prophets in our own world. For prophecy
does not entail a telling of the future as much as it entails a telling of our
truth. For someone like MLK who had plenty of struggles to overcome, the
promised land he dreamed of was not just of his people but of himself. He was
well aware of his shortcomings, his anger, his infidelity, his impatience, but
he was also aware of how important it was to not let those shortcoming stall
his work. Taylor Branch in his last and most sentient book (At Canaan’s Edge)
of King and the Civil Rights movement spoke realistically of just how much of a
struggle it was for the prophet that he was to overcome his failings. He did
struggle with affairs and his marriage, but he fought against those failings
and was prepared to move forward with his larger mission to fight against war
and poverty itself.
How do we prevail? How do we overcome our shortcomings and
move towards our own promised land? We can work for justice. We can march for
rights. We can hope for a world beyond the one we see here. But we will need to
do the inner work as well. This is what I have learned from Dr. King. We have
to wrestle with our own angels before we can truly complete our journey to the
promised land we dream of.
One of the most profound lessons I have learned over the
years has been to engage my emotions in my journey. Getting out of my head and
into my heart has been, and will continue to be, a lifelong journey. Daniel
Gorman speaks of emotional intelligence. I think this is vital to the journey.
We need to understand what makes us
tick. To become aware of our fears and our anger and not misplace it onto those
who do not deserve it. Owning our deeper selves is not easy, but the good news
is we don’t have to do it alone. We have others who can share with you this
journey. Engage your angels and find that centering truth that will take you to
the promised land. We will have opportunities
to fight injustice in the months ahead. What we need first is the courage to
deal with our own fears. This is where I think we need to begin. In our own
hearts first.
I have found that emotional honesty is a great means by
which to do this; to be less politically correct and more what the journalist Sally
Kohn calls being emotionally correct (http://www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_let_s_try_emotional_correctness).
To not demonize those who are not like us and to try instead to understand
where they come from, what their fears are. If we could start there in this
polarized country, we might find our journey to the promised land to be much
less daunting. I have tried this myself in talking to several people who are
the political opposites of me. When I ask them why they voted the way they did,
I often hear of their own fears. And I then I can stop demonizing them and
understanding that while we may disagree we are both worried about our
families, our country and our future. This should be where our justice work
begins.
When Jacob crossed over into his homeland and sent word to
his brother Esau that he was coming he was full of trepidation. What would his
brother do? What he still be filled with anger at having his inheritance stolen?
Would he attempt to harm Jacob? Or would Esau welcome him home? As Jacob
approached his brother’s camp he could see Esau and a large retinue approaching
quickly. Jacob worried that they were mounting an attack. But as Esau drew closer Jacob could see that
his brother was running towards him with open arms. As they embraced Jacob realized
that his worst fears were relieved. His brother had moved beyond the struggles
of their past and was overjoyed to welcome his brother Jacob home. Home to
their promised land. May our journey this year also bring us closer to home,
starting with our own hearts as we open them to the promise of transcending
love.
With Grace and Grit, John
