Seven years turns into fourteen and so when God told Jacob it was time to return home, he was more than ready. His father was long dead and Jacob longed to return to his homeland, to his own promised land. Jacob left with his wives, servants and children and headed back to the Promised Land, quite anxious about how he would be received by his older brother after cheating him so many years ago. They family arrived at the bank of a river and Jacob sent the party across not entirely sure he could yet come out to face his brother. Exhausted from the journey he put his head down and prepared to sleep. As he slept, an angel came upon him and began to wrestle with the wily Jacob. They were evenly matched and as dawn came upon them, Jacob asked the strangers name, to which no reply was given, instead Jacob was wounded in the thigh bone, an ancient symbol of intimacy. Jacob held the stranger and demanded that before he let him go he bless Jacob and the angel said, “your name has been Jacob (which means to grasp) but from now on your name will be ‘Israel’, for you have striven with God and prevailed” .
Jacob was a changed man. Until then he had been a passive player in the drama of his destiny, the mama’s boy, the trickster, worried about his older brother, ignored by his father, tricked by his father-in-law, trapped in a darkness of soul in which his life held little purpose. (See Naomi Rosenblat’s Wrestling with Angels; Doubleday, 1995 for an excellent discussion of this motif)
Yet, somehow, through his own self – reliance he was able to come out of his old hidden self and accept his wounds (symbolized by his thigh injury) and transcend to the higher place of his true and better nature.
Just where was Jacob’s promised land? Was it in the land he was migrating to? The land he once called home? Or was it to reconcile with his brother, Esau from whom he had stolen his father’s inheritance? In a very outward and literal sense, Jacob was returning to his home land, an actual place that felt had been promised to him by God. But if we look further into the story, we can see that he was also traveling to the promised land of reconciliation and brotherly love that he longed for with his brother. But neither of those “promised lands” were possible until Jacob completed his most important and inward journey and that was the promised land of his own integrity.
Wrestling with the angels is a powerful metaphor in mythology. It refers not so much to a celestial force or even something outside of who we are, but a wrestling with our inner doubts, our faults and even our guilt. By prevailing through the night, Jacob was given a new name, and with that name a renewed identity to become the good man he was promised by God to become; no longer the trickster and liar, but instead a human being cognizant of his faults and willing to atone for them by returning to his brother and asking for his forgiveness. The wound he suffered from the wrestling with the angel was not so much a physical one as it was spiritual and emotional. The physical dislocation of his hip was just a reminder of the spiritual dislocation of his conceit in favor of a life with the promise of integrity.
Where is the promised land? Beloveds, the promise land starts in us, right in here, right with our own doubts, and our own judgements, our own fears and our own prejudices. Every great world leaders has wrestled with the angels; Mother Theresa, Muhammed and his encounter with Gabriel, the Buddha and the temptation of Mira the God of death, Jesus and the devil promising him worldly power and eternal life. Each prophet, just like each of us has to wrestle for our better selves. That is the true and most lasting promised land.
Before I entered the ministry I thought seriously about become a lawyer. A prosecuting attorney at that. I saw myself putting bad people away. I was angry and afraid of the world. I went so far as to begin the application process. I wrestled with this decision for weeks on end, until finally, with a little help from my beloved, I saw that temptation for what is was; a place to put my fear of being poor and my fear of others into a destructive role. I am not saying that being a prosecuting attorney is wrong. Just that it was wrong for me. I was going into it for the wrong reasons. It was a long a slow journey back to my true promised land, my decision to enter the ministry and I have been grateful ever since.
We all have struggles we must overcome in order to enter the promised land of a better life. Throughout this month I will be exploring how we can overcome those struggles and become prophets in our own world. For prophecy does not entail a telling of the future as much as it entails a telling of our truth. For someone like MLK who had plenty of struggles to overcome, the promised land he dreamed of was not just of his people but of himself. He was well aware of his shortcomings, his anger, his infidelity, his impatience, but he was also aware of how important it was to not let those shortcoming stall his work. Taylor Branch in his last and most sentient book (At Canaan’s Edge) of King and the Civil Rights movement spoke realistically of just how much of a struggle it was for the prophet that he was to overcome his failings. He did struggle with affairs and his marriage, but he fought against those failings and was prepared to move forward with his larger mission to fight against war and poverty itself.
How do we prevail? How do we overcome our shortcomings and move towards our own promised land? We can work for justice. We can march for rights. We can hope for a world beyond the one we see here. But we will need to do the inner work as well. This is what I have learned from Dr. King. We have to wrestle with our own angels before we can truly complete our journey to the promised land we dream of.
One of the most profound lessons I have learned over the years has been to engage my emotions in my journey. Getting out of my head and into my heart has been, and will continue to be, a lifelong journey. Daniel Gorman speaks of emotional intelligence. I think this is vital to the journey. We need to understand what makes us tick. To become aware of our fears and our anger and not misplace it onto those who do not deserve it. Owning our deeper selves is not easy, but the good news is we don’t have to do it alone. We have others who can share with you this journey. Engage your angels and find that centering truth that will take you to the promised land. We will have opportunities to fight injustice in the months ahead. What we need first is the courage to deal with our own fears. This is where I think we need to begin. In our own hearts first.
I have found that emotional honesty is a great means by which to do this; to be less politically correct and more what the journalist Sally Kohn calls being emotionally correct (http://www.ted.com/talks/sally_kohn_let_s_try_emotional_correctness). To not demonize those who are not like us and to try instead to understand where they come from, what their fears are. If we could start there in this polarized country, we might find our journey to the promised land to be much less daunting. I have tried this myself in talking to several people who are the political opposites of me. When I ask them why they voted the way they did, I often hear of their own fears. And I then I can stop demonizing them and understanding that while we may disagree we are both worried about our families, our country and our future. This should be where our justice work begins.
When Jacob crossed over into his homeland and sent word to his brother Esau that he was coming he was full of trepidation. What would his brother do? What he still be filled with anger at having his inheritance stolen? Would he attempt to harm Jacob? Or would Esau welcome him home? As Jacob approached his brother’s camp he could see Esau and a large retinue approaching quickly. Jacob worried that they were mounting an attack. But as Esau drew closer Jacob could see that his brother was running towards him with open arms. As they embraced Jacob realized that his worst fears were relieved. His brother had moved beyond the struggles of their past and was overjoyed to welcome his brother Jacob home. Home to their promised land. May our journey this year also bring us closer to home, starting with our own hearts as we open them to the promise of transcending love.
With Grace and Grit, John